


The Ghost and the Darkness

by mcgarrygirl78



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Angst, Drama, F/M, Romance, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-11-05
Updated: 2011-11-05
Packaged: 2017-10-25 17:41:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/273016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When it rained on them, it poured.  Right now they were in the middle of a Category 4 hurricane.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Ghost and the Darkness

**Author's Note:**

> SPOILERS FOR FROM CHILDHOOD'S HOUR AND EPILOGUE!

“We need to talk.”

“I know.”

The room was dark and silent again. They needed to talk but neither knew what to say. Erin thought they were over the hurdles. She’d let go of what happened with Emily Prentiss and some other things too. There was smooth sailing for a while and then they drifted into choppy waters again.

The first Mrs. Rossi came out of nowhere and it was a perfect storm. Erin refused to initially let Carolyn knock her off her game. Dave was allowed to be friends with whomever he wanted. She wasn’t going to be one of those insane, jealous girlfriends who wanted all other women out of his life. Erin didn’t have the energy, first and foremost.

Secondly, she and Dave were so past that. They passed that a long time ago. He wanted to make Carolyn dinner and she was fine with that. She even made herself scarce that night…three was a crowd.

Erin trusted Dave and kept her jitters to herself. He felt like Carolyn had something important to share with him. They’d always been there for each other, for over 30 years, and Erin didn’t want to step in the middle of that. So she let the two of them have their moment.

By the time she came home on Wednesday night, Carolyn Rossi was gone. Something was very wrong with Dave and he wasn’t talking. Erin didn’t want to press but it had been a while since he seemed so far away. All she wanted to do was hold him close. He was too far to reach. She could tell that he’d been crying and that upset her.

They never got the chance to talk about it because the next day he was off to Angeles National Forest. He and the team were gone for five days. All that did was give the worse-case scenarios times to grow tentacles and attempt to strangle the life out of Erin. Two tense phone calls and a few random texts transpired between California and Quantico. They were both busy and gave each other space.

When Dave’s plane landed, she got a text from him saying something was wrong with Carolyn and he had to see her. OK, a boyfriend rarely texted before heading out for a tryst. She couldn’t have imagined what it really was. Carolyn was dead.

All Erin knew was that she accidentally overdosed on sleeping pills. Dave was inconsolable. Two weeks later and they were still in the dark. Erin just wanted to comfort him. She wanted to hold him and assure him that he wasn’t alone.

He hurt, she felt that, and she understood. His love for Carolyn had been deep and real. Still, she hurt that he did not want nor seek her arms. When it rained on them, it poured. Right now they were in the middle of a Category 4 hurricane.

“I don't know how long this boat can maintain in this storm.” Erin whispered. “I'm either going to heave up my guts or have to send out an SOS. I need to get off, David.”

He sighed, turning on his side and cuddling close to her. Erin shivered when he kissed that sweet spot on the crook of her neck. She reacted the same when he did it again. Then Dave was moving over her, kissing the hollow of her throat.

He kissed the other side of her neck and listened to her sigh. Erin felt him push the hem of her jersey up over her hips. Her thighs came apart almost instinctually. There was something savage about the first kiss; desperate and pleading.

“David, David…” Erin could barely get his name out over his overwhelming kisses. She almost couldn’t breathe and there was this tiny part of her that didn’t care.

“Shh,” he pressed into her and Erin gripped his hips. Dave was still wearing pajama pants but it didn’t take much to get hard. She was soft and wet; he loved the way she quivered and moaned. Even when she didn’t want to, she still wanted to. Rough when he grabbed her wrists, Erin resisted but Dave held them over her head. “Don’t fight me, baby. Stop resisting.”

Usually when he said something like that, it made Erin gasp for more. Tonight it turned her stomach.

“I don’t want to be raped, David. I want you to talk to me.”

Dave froze for a moment. Then he rolled off her and got out of bed. Erin just lay there in the dark alone. She had no idea what to make of everything that was happening. This feeling was familiar to her; desolate and depressing. This feeling was the end.

It was holding on when there was nothing to hold onto. Erin sat up abruptly, clutched her stomach, and rushed to the bathroom. Tonight’s fantastic meal of salmon, rice pilaf, artichoke salad, and cherry tortes for dessert, came back with a vengeance. Dave found her retching and he crouched down beside her, stroking her hair.

“Erin? Baby, are you alright?”

“Don’t touch me.” the toilet bowl caused her snarl to echo and Dave to back up.

He leaned against the wall and listened to the awful sound. He knew how much Erin hated being sick. He wanted to help but she didn’t want him near her. No doubt after what happened in the bedroom.

The word rape stung like a slap in the face. Erin never used that word before. They played roles sometimes, didn’t mind getting rough and sexy. But that word wasn’t allowed in their bedroom. That word was disgusting.

“Erin…”

“I'm OK.” She mumbled, the retching that followed contradicting her words.

“Please let me help you.”

“I need water.”

Nodding, though she couldn’t see that, Dave went to the sink and filled a big glass. Then he sat on the floor and handed it to her. Erin drank half, handed the glass back, and soon she was back in the bowl. This time when he stroked her hair, Erin didn’t fight. Soon she was just gagging. She drank the second half of the water and it stayed down. Dave flushed the toilet and helped her from the floor.

“What happened?” he asked.

“I don't know,” she went over to the sink to rinse her mouth. “I just felt the overwhelming need to get sick. Maybe it was what I said to you.”

“I would never do that to you, Erin, or any other woman.” he took her back into the bedroom and put her in bed. “Hearing it upset me as well.”

“I'm sorry.” She whispered.

Dave slipped under the blankets and cuddled close to her. This time he made no attempt to do anything but hold her. They just breathed together and held on.

“Is this the end?” Erin asked after a long silence.

“The end of what?”

“The end of everything.”

“It’s another bump in the road, that’s all Erin.”

“We’ve had a lot of those lately.” She replied.

“I'm not prepared to disagree.”

“David, I…”

“Carolyn had ALS. She was diagnosed a year and the symptoms began to manifest. When she told me I was floored. You prepare yourself to hear twenty awful things but that’s never one of them.”

“She committed suicide, didn’t she?” Erin asked.

“I can't call it that…I won't. She wanted to die with dignity and on her own terms. I have to be honest and say I didn’t agree with what she was doing. I wanted to stop her but…”

“You knew about it?”

Erin turned in bed. Now she was looking at him. Dave put his arms around her and sighed.

“When she came over for dinner she told me about the diagnosis. I hardly had time to digest it when she asked me to help her end her life before the ALS robbed her of the ability to make the decision.”

“She wanted you…” Erin couldn’t finish the sentence.

How could someone ask that of a person they cared for? She remembered her father, the terminal cancer; the conversation. Erin ran from the room then; she didn’t want to hear it. Eventually she came around and they had a long talk. Erin had to accept her father’s wishes but at the same time it was his decision to make. She didn’t want to be privy to the intimate details. She had no intention of giving her consent.

“That’s why you were so upset when I came home that night.”

“Yeah.” Dave shook his head. “I didn’t know what to do or say. I was just trying to comprehend it when we were called away to California. And the case dealt with someone trying to find out what awaited them in the afterlife. It was almost too much for me to handle.”

“So what happened when you came home? You sent me that text that something happened with Carolyn.”

“She called me and asked me to come to her hotel. She wanted to talk to me. I went, knowing what I had to tell her no matter how heartbreaking it was. She’d already taken the pills. She knew what I was going to say so she did it herself. I wanted to call 911; didn’t want it to happen that way. It was too late. In the end it wasn’t my decision to make.”

“I'm so sorry.” Erin caressed his face. “I know that pain and I am so sorry.”

Dave didn’t want to cry anymore. He’d been more emotional in the past three weeks than in the past three years. He took a deep breath, using a steel grip to hold on to the last bits of control. Erin stroked his face, kissed one cheek, kissed the other, and then kissed his nose.

When Dave broke down again, she held him as he cried. He’d been crying alone all this time. Erin gave him that space because she wasn’t sure how to help. Dave clung to her tonight and she clung back. The moment didn’t last long; he was grateful. He was even more grateful that she was still holding onto him. When she wiped his messy face, he managed a smile.

“I love you, baby.”

“I love you too. I'm starting to think that 2011 will go down as one of those years.” She said.

“It’s possible. That just gives us something to look forward to in 2012.”

“What if…?”

“No,” Dave shook his head and put his finger on her lips. “There will be no ‘what ifs’. When it gets tough we hold on tight. I've been here for some great times, Erin. I've been here for some bad ones too. In the end, all I want is to be here.”

“Well so do I because I've grown quite fond of you, David Rossi.”

“Is it the smoldering Italian good looks?” he gave her another little smile while also giving her Eskimo kisses.

“Mmm...nope.” Erin shook her head. Then she kissed him.

“How about my millions?”

“Well…”

He kissed her again, deeper and more passionately. Erin pulled away and caressed his face. He could read her eyes. Now wasn’t the right time. They weren't going to end tonight that way. After another kiss, Erin turned on her side. Dave spooned behind her and wrapped his arms around her.

“You can always talk to me, David. It might be hard but it’s still true. If it hurts you then it hurts me. I always want to help.”

“It’s still so fresh.” He replied. “I've been on my own for a while now. It’s hard to remember there is someone close to me affected by my actions and reactions. Maybe that’s why I'm thrice divorced.

“I guess it’s a good thing we won't be getting married.”

“As soon as you change your mind though I’ll be ready.”

“What makes you think I'm going to do that?” Erin asked.

“I'm wearing you down woman…I can feel it.”

“Go to sleep.”

“You love me, baby?”

There was something so vulnerable in his voice when he asked. Erin felt her breath catch in her throat. Taking a deep breath, she stroked his hands.

“I love, love, love you.”

“I love, love, love you too. I'm lucky to have an amazing woman like you in my life.”

“Please remember that when I'm driving you to the edge of your sanity.” Erin said.

“Been there, done that. I'm still lucky.”

Erin smiled as she closed her eyes. It was going to be easier to sleep wrapped in his embrace. They'd been going back and forth lately…hot and cold. It hadn't even been this bumpy in the beginning when she was denying her feelings until she was blue in the face. A testament to how strong this was, four years in and they were still holding on.

Erin seriously considered walking out recently. She didn’t know what that made her but it was still the truth. The bad would always come with the good. The gruesome could be right around the corner from the delightful. It was all easier with Dave at her side.

The problem lately is that they hadn't been able to find common ground to walk on together for long. But you couldn’t just cut and run when there were bumps in the road. Even if there were potholes; they would fill them. As sleep took over, Erin laced her fingers with Dave’s to reinforce their reconnection.

“Love you baby.” He whispered, kissing the nape of her neck. “See you in the morning.”

***


End file.
